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Girl vs. Woman

“A girl wants attention, a woman wants respect. A girl wants to be adored by many. A woman wants to be adored by one.” -Anonymous

1.  Relationships

A woman may or may not desire a romantic pairing, but if she does, she chooses to do so because it amplifies her life. She will not step into a relationship and especially will not go as far as to say “I do” simply to not feel left out. A woman is quite content in her own company and would rather be alone pursuing her passions, strengthening her friendships and building her legacy, than be involved with the wrong person.

A girl is scared of being alone. Primarily, this fear is cultivated by those around her and the media she subjects herself to. It is also an indicator that she is not either comfortable with who she is or she hasn’t taken the time to find out who she is. This discovery is very often a journey that requires the sojourner to walk alone.

2. Dating

A woman is strong and confident enough to let a man know she is interested in him. And while the crucial foundation of building any healthy relationship is to maintain one’s self-respect and integrity, playing a cat and mouse game is not what a woman does. She may not be the person to initiate, the goal is to express interest and then let go.

A girl feeds off the drama.  A girl finds entertainment in the unknown and the uncertainty in the “will he call/text” or won’t he? A girl hasn’t found something of more quality interest in her life, her passion, to focus on and instead focuses on gaining the adoration of boys.

3. Confidence

A woman recognizes that true confidence comes from within. A woman takes the time to get to know herself, to understand her strengths and weaknesses, and realizes she is a work in progress.

However, she knows her self-worth and based on her personality will not be subjected to disrespect from a partner or place of work.  A woman recognizes that the only way to gain self-confidence is through experiences, pushing through a wall of comfort from time to time and taking educated risks. A woman has a mind of her own and speaks up for herself and others when necessary.

A girl seeks confidence from external sources – the number of social media followers, a busy date book, approval from peers of her behavior, clothing or life choices. A girl without self-confidence can easily be manipulated into believing what others want her beliefs about herself.

4. Appearance

A woman knows her body and dresses to accentuate it. A woman is acutely aware that while beauty may get someone to open the door, her intelligence will get her over the threshold. However, she respects the power of dressing well, and while she wouldn’t walk out the door without make-up or at least brushing her hair, this is merely a means of self-respect, not insecurity.

A girl only has her looks to rely on to close the deal. Too much skin or too much make-up is a regular occurrence only because she hasn’t invested in anything else such as her interests, passions, and talents.

5. Conversation

A woman can hold a conversation with just about anyone, but the difference is that it goes deeper than the surface. A woman is well-read and aware of the world around her. She is comfortable in existential conversations.

A girl is more comfortable gossiping and complaining, focusing on superficial information that doesn’t deepen the conversation.

6. Sense of Direction

A woman has goals, aspirations, and intentions for her life. Often the rigidity has been lessened as to how exactly everything should play out, however it doesn’t mean they’ve lost sight of their target. It is now more of a concept than a concrete thing. A woman stands on her own to travel her journey, but recognizes the value in relationships (working and personal) and helping those she loves travel successfully toward their dreams as well.

A girl doesn’t really know what she wants and due to the ambivalence, she may default to a man and follow his path and help him pursue his dreams while losing herself and her potential in the process.

7. Standards vs. Expectations

A woman has standards. In other words, a woman holds herself in check when it comes to what she needs in her life to be her best self and is self-actualized enough that she knows what will be detrimental to her potential and overall health (mental and physical).

A girl has expectations. The list of superficial demands that others must have before she will involve herself is something she projects onto them and uses as a barrier to not look beyond what someone may have to offer. In so doing, she is focused on appearances rather than substance.


Becoming a woman, reveling in all that being a woman can entail is a choice that will empower you to become your best self and surround you with a support system that offers respect, love, and comfort as you afford them the same. Choosing to be a woman must be a conscious choice: you must begin with a recognition of your self-worth. It’s there. It’s always been there.

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